I met Mr B by chance again after loosing touch of him over 1 year ago. He knows me by sight, from my old days in one of the stupid hang flower places.
Well, recently i have been hanging out with him, you might not realize it, but when you are stuck in a relatiionship with a singer, it is one of the most dreary most boring times of your life.
If you do not have enough money, your singer girl still have to work, and she will demand that you turn up to the workplace every single day.. just to make sure she knows where you are going, plus you still have to ensure she have her monthly quota of tables on a weekly basis.
So anyways, he was supporting two different girls at two separate places.
And within a month, he hanged close to 40 thousand dollars.. That was when the trouble started.
First he asked for help and wanted a loan of 20k, saying that he had issues with his boss paying his salary etc, need some time to clear a check, could not get down to the bank etc.
I said no in a gentle yet firm way, that was the end of the first episode.
Then one week later, he asked if he could borrow 10k from me...
Then one week later he asked if he could borrow 5k from me....
Then yesterday, he asked if he could borrow 500 from me and that he would return it to me tomorrow....
I was quite pissed off already, as he was basically throwing hundreds at the girl, and yet he was trying to borrow money to survive.
Then i learned from other people in the sector, that he had been trying to borrow money from them as well, all on the same day, trying to borrow 500 from each, and promising to return the day after.
From my reading of the situation, he has basically exhausted his savings and credit already, and now he is trying to look rich in front of his girl and trying to sustain an impossible burn rate.
The motto of the story.
"Do not lend money to other patrons in the Hang Flower Joints"
Monday, June 27, 2011
Mr A HFJ Grooming
Mr A is in his early 40s, works as a real estate agent, and drives a nice old sedan.
I got to know him in one of the flower places in singapore, we stroke up a conversation and shared a couple of drinks.
I was quite impressed with his claims, he claims that he spent over 400,000 SGD over the last few years, and yet for all of the money that he spent.
He did not managed to score with any of the singers....
It was only later, after i observed him a few times, that i found the problem. He likes to put on his worst face forward in front of the girls, he likes to act like a fool, play like a fool and worst of all, speak in a very crass and rude way to all of the girls.
Basically it is a self defeating self actualization game.
And he had a much worst problem than me in terms of dealing with the hang flower situation.
When he goes into a place, he feels obligated to hang flowers for the manager, singer manager, musician and of course his girl and the girls of his friends. So in a typical evening at a single location, he can easily blow 300-400 just on the above few items.
So all good and fine you might say, however he had another aspect which is truly scary.
He will borrow money, lying through his teeth, bare face lies in order to get the cash fix for the moment.
I observed it through a period of 3 weeks, and it was true, he will borrow lets say 500 from me, then will return, when required the first time, than maybe another small loan, and it accumulates.
So he might crouched it in such a way, that as i am going to my own place, he will accompany me, but as he is short of cash, can i lend him a few hundred dollars, so that he can spend on the girl.
Well the fool that i am, i have lent him 800 bucks, and it looks as though it is money down the drain.
The funniest thing happened to me today, he gave me a ring complaining about how he had to spend 200 the other day etc, I told him to speak to a mutual friend, the mutual friend might have contacts with illegal money lender, that can lend him money at exorbitant rates.
Well, he said " I am not that close with that person, if you trust me, why not you lend on my behalf, and i can pay you back when my money comes in"
The morale of the story.
"Do not lend to patrons of Hang Flower Joints".
I got to know him in one of the flower places in singapore, we stroke up a conversation and shared a couple of drinks.
I was quite impressed with his claims, he claims that he spent over 400,000 SGD over the last few years, and yet for all of the money that he spent.
He did not managed to score with any of the singers....
It was only later, after i observed him a few times, that i found the problem. He likes to put on his worst face forward in front of the girls, he likes to act like a fool, play like a fool and worst of all, speak in a very crass and rude way to all of the girls.
Basically it is a self defeating self actualization game.
And he had a much worst problem than me in terms of dealing with the hang flower situation.
When he goes into a place, he feels obligated to hang flowers for the manager, singer manager, musician and of course his girl and the girls of his friends. So in a typical evening at a single location, he can easily blow 300-400 just on the above few items.
So all good and fine you might say, however he had another aspect which is truly scary.
He will borrow money, lying through his teeth, bare face lies in order to get the cash fix for the moment.
I observed it through a period of 3 weeks, and it was true, he will borrow lets say 500 from me, then will return, when required the first time, than maybe another small loan, and it accumulates.
So he might crouched it in such a way, that as i am going to my own place, he will accompany me, but as he is short of cash, can i lend him a few hundred dollars, so that he can spend on the girl.
Well the fool that i am, i have lent him 800 bucks, and it looks as though it is money down the drain.
The funniest thing happened to me today, he gave me a ring complaining about how he had to spend 200 the other day etc, I told him to speak to a mutual friend, the mutual friend might have contacts with illegal money lender, that can lend him money at exorbitant rates.
Well, he said " I am not that close with that person, if you trust me, why not you lend on my behalf, and i can pay you back when my money comes in"
The morale of the story.
"Do not lend to patrons of Hang Flower Joints".
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Part 1: Singapore's Hang Flower Joints, 挂花场
There are no exact figures on the number of HFJs in Singapore, industry estimates that there are close to 350~400 clubs.
Clubs can be very small catering to less than 20 customers or large clubs that can handle more than 100 customers.
But in reality, an average size of 30~40 seating capacity is enough.
Think of a piano lounge, but remove the piano and put in a small stage, a musician controlling the audio equipment, lighting and stage devices.
The basic premise is simple, singers will perform on stage, and the audience in appreciation will provide gratuities in terms of flowers.
The singers are recruited mainly from china, some of them are university graduates, but most of the singers cannot speak english, only chinese.
The clientele of the clubs are mainly, Singaporeans in their late 30s and above, the average age is closer to 45-50 and above.
Typically, each singer will go on stage in turn to sing a song, throughout the night.
Then past midnight, all the singers will be on stage together, and each of them will sing in turn.
This is the PPC or 排排场 and the main highlight of each evening.
A typical customer going to such a club with a few friends might spend a few hundred dollars, and that would be on a tight budget.
Typically, 100-200 for flowers for the singers, 100 for the beer, even a cup of tea might cost $10.00
So what makes it one of the most vibrant night scene in Singapore
Clubs can be very small catering to less than 20 customers or large clubs that can handle more than 100 customers.
But in reality, an average size of 30~40 seating capacity is enough.
Think of a piano lounge, but remove the piano and put in a small stage, a musician controlling the audio equipment, lighting and stage devices.
The basic premise is simple, singers will perform on stage, and the audience in appreciation will provide gratuities in terms of flowers.
The singers are recruited mainly from china, some of them are university graduates, but most of the singers cannot speak english, only chinese.
The clientele of the clubs are mainly, Singaporeans in their late 30s and above, the average age is closer to 45-50 and above.
Typically, each singer will go on stage in turn to sing a song, throughout the night.
Then past midnight, all the singers will be on stage together, and each of them will sing in turn.
This is the PPC or 排排场 and the main highlight of each evening.
A typical customer going to such a club with a few friends might spend a few hundred dollars, and that would be on a tight budget.
Typically, 100-200 for flowers for the singers, 100 for the beer, even a cup of tea might cost $10.00
So what makes it one of the most vibrant night scene in Singapore
Monday, June 6, 2011
SMSs from my wife to be.
I have been feeling very down and depressed recently, and my wife to be has also been very badly affected.
Imagine, if you have chosen a husband to be, and he has been out of a job for over 6 months, grossly overweight, full of medical problems....
And you yourself have no means of financial support.
I love her more than anything in my life...her life, her happiness is more than my entire life is worth.
不要无聊好吗， 做自己要做的事， 自信心是自己努力来的，不是别人给的，你是我的准老公，我是你的准老婆，那你就应该了解我，我该做的改说的都做啦都说啦！你自己不放弃我就会永远在那边等你！
真的爱的默默努力，默默承担，我知道你爱我，我想要真的爱，我要你成熟的爱 ，责任的爱。我要真正的幸福，我不想每天给你烦恼，我心情也很糟糕，我不是一个会安慰你的人，明明想跟你说爱你想你，想去陪你，但是看你一次就骂你一次，我不想留下坏印象，努力吧我要你给我一个上进的老公，永远不放弃的老公，健康的老公，只要你不放弃只要你不要放从自己，我这辈子都不会放弃！
你自己管不住自己，那你如果再不听我的话想几点起床就几点起，想几点睡就几点睡， 让我每天对着一个懒散，自我放从的你，你忍心吗？我心里深深相信我不会选错人，你一定行的， 你会瘦下来，你会找到工作，你是个人才，你会是最棒的老公！别让我们失望好吗!
爱你，加油！
可欣
Imagine, if you have chosen a husband to be, and he has been out of a job for over 6 months, grossly overweight, full of medical problems....
And you yourself have no means of financial support.
I love her more than anything in my life...her life, her happiness is more than my entire life is worth.
不要无聊好吗， 做自己要做的事， 自信心是自己努力来的，不是别人给的，你是我的准老公，我是你的准老婆，那你就应该了解我，我该做的改说的都做啦都说啦！你自己不放弃我就会永远在那边等你！
真的爱的默默努力，默默承担，我知道你爱我，我想要真的爱，我要你成熟的爱 ，责任的爱。我要真正的幸福，我不想每天给你烦恼，我心情也很糟糕，我不是一个会安慰你的人，明明想跟你说爱你想你，想去陪你，但是看你一次就骂你一次，我不想留下坏印象，努力吧我要你给我一个上进的老公，永远不放弃的老公，健康的老公，只要你不放弃只要你不要放从自己，我这辈子都不会放弃！
你自己管不住自己，那你如果再不听我的话想几点起床就几点起，想几点睡就几点睡， 让我每天对着一个懒散，自我放从的你，你忍心吗？我心里深深相信我不会选错人，你一定行的， 你会瘦下来，你会找到工作，你是个人才，你会是最棒的老公！别让我们失望好吗!
爱你，加油！
可欣
Saturday, June 4, 2011
SGD$450,000 gone in two years.
I have been ensnared in the wonderful of 挂花场， hang flower cabarets, for over 2 years this month.
This experience have left me on the verge of bankruptcy, destroyed my once promising career, wrecked my relationships with friends, and now i am drifting, in between the borders of light and dark...
I am hanging on to sanity by a thin thin thread, everyday that i look back on my actions, it is with massive self loathing, hatred and despair.
Yes, that is right, 400k is about right, in terms of the stocks, credit lines, loans etc that i have taken over the last two years to feed this ADDICTION, mind you it is an addiction, a sickness of the mind.
This blog is not really for the faint of heart, be warned.
I am writing this blog, for two reasons, as a means to coming to terms with my predicament, to obtain my final peace with my experience of the last two years. And to serve as a humble guide to the rest of the singaporean males, who are trapped in this lifestyle and trying to find a means out of it.
Excelsior Brothers, read on and hear the humble story of my experience.
This experience have left me on the verge of bankruptcy, destroyed my once promising career, wrecked my relationships with friends, and now i am drifting, in between the borders of light and dark...
I am hanging on to sanity by a thin thin thread, everyday that i look back on my actions, it is with massive self loathing, hatred and despair.
Yes, that is right, 400k is about right, in terms of the stocks, credit lines, loans etc that i have taken over the last two years to feed this ADDICTION, mind you it is an addiction, a sickness of the mind.
This blog is not really for the faint of heart, be warned.
I am writing this blog, for two reasons, as a means to coming to terms with my predicament, to obtain my final peace with my experience of the last two years. And to serve as a humble guide to the rest of the singaporean males, who are trapped in this lifestyle and trying to find a means out of it.
Excelsior Brothers, read on and hear the humble story of my experience.
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